BREAKING NEWS: Doorbell rings at 12:06 am...

Stories like the one I am about to tell you are few and far between. Some reporters wait years for something as good as this. I am proud to be the first to report the tale of one mans struggle alone in the streets surrounding Wrigley Field. Plus I was able to get pictures from the scene! Lets start from the beginning...

12:20 pm
Today was just like any other ordinary day. The Cubs were in town, the streets were bustling, and the beer was flowing at the Turner Corporate Baseball Outing. I was sitting down to watch the Cubs game while our good friend, Dini, was at his corporate event. He planned on having a few beers, sitting back, and enjoying the company of his coworkers on this lovely August afternoon.

3:21 pm
Text from Dini stating, "I might stay with you tonight." Great I thought, Dini will be over and we can watch the Bears game, or dare I say,maybe even go to the boats. So I text back, "Cool Boats?"

6:13 pm
Call from Dini (hammered) "Yo you got to come down here, I am the fucking man, dude seriuosly we will play Full Tilt when I get back, why aren't you here?"

Me- "Dini, what are you talking about? Where are you? You sound like you are smoked!"

Dini- "I am, I have been drinking all day....not even all beer either, I am staying with you, you better answer the door!"

Me- "I will, of course...come back now if you want, Bears game is on in..." Dini hangs up on me.

6:22pm
Dini calls, "I am coming over, and I am bringing people, get the beer ready."

Me- "What? Who? Why? We don't have much beer you better pick some up if..." I get cut off.

Dini- "Shut up dude, I know you have beer! Fine just come to Bernies, no I mean Cubby Bear, no I mean Cubby...just get down here and have the beers ready for...."

He hangs up! What an asshole I am thinking, I mean seriously. So I try calling him back to no avail.

7:19-7:48pm
9 calls and no answer from Dini...oh well he must be having a good time I think.

8:28pm
I call Dini again, but this time some black guy who barely speaks a lick of decent english picks up!

Me- "Mike?"

Anonymous Dude - "This is not Mike, this not Mikes phone no more."

Me- "Mike stop messing around." And then the caller hangs up, I think it is one of his coworkers messing around.

8:54pm
Text to Dini- "R u alive?"

9:12pm
Call from Drew and I- "Mike?"

Other end- "Breathing, and nothing said..." Hangs up.

At this point I am little worried, but not really. I figure he is obliterated and just having a blast, but may have lost his phone in his drunken state.

12:06am
Doorbell rings... I can't make up shit this good!













Dini- "I just woke up in an alley by 7 Eleven and I lost my phone. And I don't know where I have been or what happened the last 6 hours!"


Notice the dirt on his shoulders and the leaves and crap on his shirt and in his hair!


Yep that really is a bug on his undershirt...in fact he had a few on him! Apparently still in shock from the whole event and being without his phone, Dini strips down and demands a phone to let his family know that he is ok and lost his phone.


12:23am
After explaining to him I think some random black man has his phone, plus now knowing he was passed out in an alley for no less than 3-4 hours, the true scope of what has occurred hits him. Dini, again demands the phone to call his girlfriend...

12:42am
After a short conversation and a bit of relief, Dini calls his phone multiple times and agrees to meet the mystery man at McDonald's after some negotiating and a $40 bribe to get his phone back.

Now, this guy was one sketchy dude! He wouldn't tell us what he was wearing, just to be there in 15 mins. Obviously, he doesn't trust Dini, and of course we don't trust him. It is likely this guy may have stolen Dini's phone from him while passed out.

12:58am
Sorry for the bad pictures...from my phone in the dark.

Mike meets the anonymous mystery man and pays him $40 for his phone back. The mystery man tells us an amazing tall tale of how Dini was hammered and through his phone at the guy, and then ran away into the alley. The man chased Mike but was afraid the cops would see him and think that he was going to rob Mike, so he took the phone and ran "hoping Mike would call to get it back."


Dini, proceeds to talk for 5 or 6 minutes to this guy so that he can get one straight answer out of him.

"Do you think anyone else from my work saw me?"

LMFAO- C'mon Dini are you serious! I couldn't believe that was what he was standing there for, listening to this crazy guy, smelling his odor and foul breath. (Although Dini's breath wasn't anything to brag about either!)

1:06am
We decide I need to see where he was when he woke up. These pictures are real....I took them near Harry Carays about 1 block south of the 711 on Addison and Sheffield.














This is the actual spot Dini found to pass out in some ATT Restricted Back Alley Lot behind some bars on Clark!

Cubs Game With Coworkers: Free

Tequila Shots at Harry Carays: Free

Losing 5 Hours of your Life sleeping in back allwy parking lot after "throwing" your phone at a homeless man and running away and jumping a fence: PRICELESS



1:15am
Terry (Dini's Mom) calls and Mike picks up....

Dini- "Ya don't worry, thank god I got my phone back, I am fine..at Taco Bell with Nick, talk to you tomorrow."

Breaking Away: How I won the Great American Footrace

Who could blame the gathering crowds? This was the race of the decade. Two sprinters could not be better matched, yet one was clearly favored. Mike the 5'10" 203 lb. high school basketball phenom vs. Nick the 6'1" 2....ah nevermind. I was clearly the underdog, some even say I can't run the 40 in less than 8 seconds...yet on this day my impressive workout routine was about to pay off. I work out 3 to 4 times a week, sometimes twice a day. The walk from my house to dairy queen and the post office is uphill both ways. Mike on the other hand plays basketball with his 16 year old brother on his parents driveway, and uses the elliptical!

The race had simple rules, 2 runners, 1 lap around the black, and $20 with a side of pride. I was confident, maybe too confident....I offered Mike the inside position, without hesitation. As the crowd gathered closer and the corners were set with spotters, we took off. I bolted past Mike right off the block and coming into turn 2 I felt I clearly had a 3 -4 stride lead. I was running so fast I had to take turn 2 wide, and I checked over my shoulder I stepped awkwardly on the sidewalk edge and twisted my ankle. I thought for sure I was going down. In fact, Mike stated later "I really wanted you to fall down, I can't believe you kept running!" And run I did, the adrenaline was flowing, the fear of disappointing those who wagered on me in the back of my mind, I persevered.

It wasn't until the homestretch that I was able to pull back on the reigns. Thank god Mike gave up, he was beat and he knew it. He left nothing in the tank for the final sprint. Hobbling in, I then realized how bad my ankle was sprained. One bystander compared it to Tiger Woods winning the US Open on a bad knee, another laughed at me. I knew I had to be strong though, and strong I was. With an ankle the size of a grapefruit, I found the courage to walk to Bacci Pizzeria and bring home the celebratory pie. It was a great end to a wonderful Saturday. I wish you all could have been there. For those who were there, don't ever forget it, the feats of mental and physical strength that day are seldom seen, and rarely witnessed.